NO PREREQS

Dance recitals. Home cooked food. Curfews. These are the tangible things that make living in a family beautiful, but there’s much more to it. The truth is family is probably one of the best sources of support you will receive in your life. I want to use this post to speak a little about how my time here in Benin has made me grow to appreciate the nuances of living in a family environment unlike I have ever before.

My family is my prime source of information when it comes to navigating Ouidah, my best opportunity to practice French (and learn some Fon). Mostly though, because in what can sometimes seem like a dauntingly different environment, I can always return home and find comfort in knowing that I can find some familiarity there. Mama will be working away, cooking or cleaning, Aristot will be doing everything in his potential to distract her from such, and Yannick and Melissa will be watching the latest episode of “El Diablo”. There’s something to be said for having multiple siblings around as well... it feels like it did back when I was still in primary school... everyone would go their own ways during the day, only to come together for dinner every single night. It’s an amazing feeling to be accepted into someone else’s family like you are one of their own. It makes you believe in the universality of humanity all that much more.      

                  Although my host family has been instrumental in helping me realize the value of family, my time at the orphanage has contributed equally. Although the children of the orphanage have developed a companionship and a stand up for each other no-matter-what attitude, the sheer number of them means that they cannot develop the same intimate bonds that siblings share. The meagre staffing consisting of Mr. Serge and Raphael cannot fulfill the parental needs of the children. This is obvious when I compare how Aristot never leaves Mama’s sight as soon as she’s home, whereas each child says “bonsoir”, to Mr. Serge when he arrives and goes back to what they were doing moments later.  

The kids in the most difficult situation are the girls. They do not have any consistent female role model to look up to. Because let’s face it, when we are young, that’s what our parents are. They are some of the few adults we know, and we spend a majority of our time around them, so it’s only natural that we would model ourselves after them. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is the saying, but what happens when there is no tree to begin with? 

                Those of us who have been nurtured by families often take that fact for granted and complain about our brothers (or lack thereof), sisters or parents. I know I complain, and probably will continue to from time to time. But truth be told, even if they can sometimes make you upset, just the fact that they were even a part of your life to begin with – that is a privilege in itself. That is something my experience in Benin will never allow me to forget.

Below I've included some photos of my host mom and sister. You can find pictures of my host dad and two of my brothers here.